I Don’t Like To Pray

Posted: May 17, 2012 in Batteries Not Included
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Have you ever noticed that when you pray, you’re not praying and waiting to hear God’s answer, but you’re praying waiting for God to confirm your answer? Last night as I was going to sleep I prayed about something that’s been deeply troubling me for a while, and I was semi-confident that God would bring the issue to a happy resolution. I say semi-confident because my faith isn’t always strong, and even though I know God is greater than all, I sometimes am blinded and have trouble really believing it.

Well, this morning I woke up, and God had an answer for me. “Jason,” He said, “I have a solution for your problem. You have to fix yourself.”

#notwhatIwantedtohear.

Many times, the problem with our prayers is that they’re directed at other people, at how they need to fix themselves so that everyone (myself, mainly) will be happy. We’re so blinded to our own faults, and it really skews our prayers. But God’s light is indiscriminate, God’s light is fair, God’s light shows what really needs to be shown, to everyone (myself, especially).

Maybe this is why I don’t like to pray, because I know I won’t like the answer. But… God’s answered, and I can’t pretend I didn’t hear Him.

In other news, this morning during prayer, I tried to imagine what it’s like to be gathered with all the saints before God’s throne. With the high school group, we’d once done a play based on the book The Bema Seat, and one of the scenes involved all the saints coming before the throne of God to give glory to Him. I remember picturing it like a huge HUGE baseball stadium, packed to the brim with people in white robes. But really… ALL the saints since the beginning of time. That’s a lot of souls. That’s more than a baseball stadium, that’s probably more than the earth can hold.

I can’t even begin to imagine what such a gathering would be like. Can you imagine how long the lines at the bathrooms would be?

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